Lead us into Temptation

As luxury sedans whisk by me on a busy mid-town intersection, I can just barely make out the looks of dismay on the faces of the drivers through their heavily tinted windows. I stop to ponder the possible causes of their concern. Certainly today’s market conditions and global events offer plenty of disheartening reasons, but these people are the elite. Being referred to as “upper middle class” would likely insult them and though they would probably scoff at hearing it, it would undoubtedly be the topic of their next therapy session. Most of us are not like that. We get by without being “well-off” – if you can still call it that. Yet even in this land of plenty, we have an incredibly high suicide rate coupled with a heavy dependence on mood altering medication. This all goes to suggest one simple thing: as a society, we are unhappy. Privileged, secure, having had our hunger satiated and our needs met, but still largely unhappy. So what is really happening to us? Has Maslow failed to factor a thing or two into his infamous Hierarchy? Or are we simply overlooking something so elementary in nature that it simply goes unnoticed by the majority?

Well yes actually, it really is that simple. It’s called an attachment. It comes in many shapes and sizes and as part of its devious nature, it loves to play with masks (and not in the kinky fun kind of way). Though this duality is hardly grounds for a lengthy article, its the psychological burdens with witch these attachments are laden that I want to address. Ultimately it is the sum of all the little agitators, piggy-backing on things like our “lucky” hat or the object of our latest “gotta-have-it” whim, that eventually add up to depression and high blood pressure. Before I go further in trying to uncover the various guises which attachments may hide behind, let me first clear up, for semantics sake, what I DON’T mean by attachment. An attachment to other PEOPLE is a natural and healthy thing, and something that we as humans have come to thrive on (but even here, it is essential to note the difference between a healthy and natural attachment, and the often confused, yet always detrimental, dependency). That having been said, let me give a simple example which illustrates just one shade of the attachment chameleon.

While out with some friends at a lively themed restaurant, I wound up ordering my drink in a “souvenir” cup, rather than the plain alternative. This is unlike me, but it wasn’t too much more, and I really liked its design. Upon taking it home with me, its impracticality quickly began to dawn on me. It soon became clear that drinking from it on a regular basis would be infeasible. Although a couple of subsequent guests, my good friend being one of them, did compliment the cup and noted that it was indeed “cool”, it did not take me long to realize that the longer the cup stayed in my possession, the more I would come to resent it. Luckily for me, this realization came sooner rather than later and I was able to correct my initial mistake. Yet I could not help but think that with most people this would not have been the case. The cup would have languished in their household indefinitely while they wondered why they felt a strange tightness in their chest while passing by their cabinet. By the way, I did end up giving it to someone who thought it was “cool” as an act of “good will” for which they were very grateful, and if you are reading this now, I am sorry.

Like I said, this was unlike me. I do not often let clutter collect in my house and do periodically make it a point to purge the useless things which accumulate. Yet for many people, their possessions, and the incessant need to possess become tremendous sources of stress. Junk piles up. The apartment gets cramped and messy. Arguments with loved ones break out. Yet the connection is never made between all this and the growing tension within these individuals. In some cases, this alone is enough to cause misery and depression. In her article from Psychology Today, Dr. Hara Estroff Marano addresses this very issue and brings its true magnitude to light by calling it what it really is: a disorder. Luckily here, as with all attachments, the solution is simple. Not only so, but even taking the first step can be incredibly liberating and fulfilling: Just – Let – Go.

As far as clutter goes, it really is that simple. Start small. Pick one item which just looks tacky and out of place, and throw it out. Yes, I know you got it in St. Martin while you were still with Ray, but do it nonetheless and don’t look back. In another article from P.T., Matthew Hutson discusses the various techniques which you can employ to rid yourself of clutter’s burden. Easy enough since after all, it’s just clutter. The real problem arises when we take account the more important items in our lives. The items that we have come to depend on, identify with, and ultimately define our selves in terms of.

These days, its safe to assume that everyone owns a cellphone. Some even own several. After all the new iPhone is a must right? So what if your old contract doesn’t expire till January. Point is, we all have them, and we can’t imagine life without one… right?? Yet have we not all lost a cell phone at one point or another? Left it at home during a trip or simply gone for an extended stay in an area with limited reception? Were these not moments of blissful freedom? The reality of the matter then appears that there really is very little we cannot do without. Refer yourself to Maslow’s Hierarchy once more and please tell me if the iPhone has already taken its rightful place atop the pyramid.

I don’t want to just be singling out the iPhone here exclusively. In this land of emptiness, where materialism is force-fed to us at every intersection and intermission, the simple ownership for the sake of utility has gone out the window. Its not enough to have a PC anymore, it has to be Apple. Not enough to own a vehicle, it has to be a status symbol. Even the coffee we drink must carry with it a brand premium. So what happens when you’ve amassed all the elements of the American happiness formula? Aside from the eternal indebtedness to the credit card companies, nothing! You sit there wondering why after all this stuff you still feel so desperately empty. In a final act of desperation all you can do is put it all together. So you get into your status symbol on wheels, drive it down to your local Starbucks, set your macBook and iPhone on the counter and let them interface over the distributed wi-fi, only to bring you an up-to-date spreadsheet of how utterly empty your life has become. You would cry out, were you not surrounded by similarly situated individuals all sitting there scouring the net for that inevitable missing piece of the material puzzle. So you dawn your caffeinated smile.

We have unfortunately reached a point of total identity dissolution through means of envy and paid product placement. Looking at our friends in the department store mirror, we say things like “oh that’s so you”, and after a while, guess what: it is! But it does not have to be like this. We can be happy with less on the outside if we begin enriching ourselves from the inside. Grow as individuals. Learn more, consume less. Find fulfillment in the things we do rather than the things we brandish in front of our co-workers in a pathetic plea for envy. Lets define ourselves for who we really are. It’s easy, I’ll go first: I am an athletic wayfarer with a perpetual thirst for knowledge who takes great delight in a fine cup of tea. Your turn. And please note: if you use the word “homeowner”, state your age, career designation, or refer to your employment status, I would thank you to either re-read this article or just navigate back to the Home Shopping Network or something. Thank you.

Materials Referenced:
Hoarding: Trash as Treasure
Hoarding: Learning to Let Go